Change Your Internal Narrative and Take a Seat at the Table

by Jenna Lange

Have you ever been told, “You need to speak up some more.” And then, “You talk too much.”

Or, “You should be more assertive.” And immediately another colleague suggests, “You should soften your style.”

We get a lot of conflicting messages when we ask for feedback about how we show up. We want to strike the right tone, command attention, have presence – and maintain our own style and personality.

For women, in particular, this is especially challenging. Our society keeps pushing these conflicting ideas forward.

Just this month, HBR talked about how women walk an impossible tightrope at work. We’re expected to have the courage to interrupt, but do so only with soft and "happy expressions."

How? How do you manage that perfect storyline in your head in the moments when you need to break through with an idea?

That is exactly what we do at Lange International. We help clients craft the story they want to tell and tell it in a way that feels authentic. 

Here’s my best advice before a big pitch or presentation or any high stakes moment: think of the story you are telling yourself in your head. Is it a positive story? A story of confidence and success? Most of the time, it’s a negative story where we are questioning our worth, our ideas, or our place at the table.

Shift to a new mindset: “I have the right to speak up now. And people want to hear what I have to say.”

Changing that internal narrative can change everything about both what you say and how you say it.