You’ve Got Spinach in Your Teeth (and other good feedback)
“You’ve got spinach in your teeth.”
Music to your ears when you hear it from a friend or colleague just after you’ve finished your big salad and right before you go on camera or deliver a big presentation. Thank goodness for these people – the people willing to feel a little uncomfortable to say something important. For your benefit! These are probably the same people you can count on for good feedback. Actionable feedback.
Receiving feedback can make you feel exposed and vulnerable. It’s not fun to hear that your incisor is covered in salad or that your presentation landed flat. Yet, without this valuable insight, it’s hard to make meaningful adjustments to our behaviors. You might wear that spinach until bedtime. We can’t improve what we don’t understand to be deficient. That’s why the magic of effective feedback lies in the hands of the feedback giver.
The very first feedback model I learned was from the Center for Creative Leadership: Situation/Behavior/Impact. This framework helped me get more comfortable providing feedback that felt helpful, not critical. It stuck with me for years as a clear and easy way to share specific feedback. It’s very similar to a model we teach our clients: Observation/Impact/Recommendation.
What I love about both, is that there is a focus on IMPACT. What is the impact your behavior is having on others? When you hear this from someone you trust, you’re more likely to absorb the feedback and understand why you might consider changing or modifying the behavior.
For example, “I noticed during your presentation that you were looking down at your notes quite a bit. The impact was that the audience had a hard time connecting with you and staying engaged with your content. I recommend you memorize the first sentence you’d like to say for each slide so you can look directly at your audience and land your key points more powerfully.”
Whatever model you use to share your perspective or give feedback, do you include the impact to drive real behavior change?
After all, having “you’ve got spinach in your teeth” friends is a true gift. Especially if they have floss.